


Nostalgia Wiped

by jossujb_OLD_FICS_ONLY (jossujb)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Arguing, Bickering, Drama, Grumpy - Freeform, Insults, M/M, Mostly Dialogue, somewhat fuffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-23
Updated: 2008-11-23
Packaged: 2017-11-19 07:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/570828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jossujb/pseuds/jossujb_OLD_FICS_ONLY
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock can be a real friend and more, if he sees it to be necessary. But to be honest, those Vulcans act quite irrationally (believe it or not) when it comes to helping a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nostalgia Wiped

**Author's Note:**

> I have a feeling that this is my firt ever fic written in English... I can't remember he year. I've tried to fix all the biggest issues from it, gave it a new tittle and revamped it a bit, but I can't say it's entirely fluid, since English still isn't my native.

This shore leave was unplanned alright, but not unwelcome. Still, watching how lights reflected from the lake, doctor McCoy felt a bit lonely. And a bit sad, to be trutful, but he didn't want to be caught up sulking, so he tried forced smiling for a while. No luck.

Spock walked towards him. How conviniet, this city is big as a big can be, and still the person he ended up talking was Spock.

"Are you depressed doctor?" was the first line he said. Not being really kind or anything. Though that's to be expected.

"Why do you say that?"

"Humans tend to sigh when they are 'feeling down', as you would say."

"I don't recall sighing at all."

Actually, he had sighed at least twice since Spock had sat next to him.

"And if I remember correctly, humans will not admit their depression easily."

"Damn right they should _not._ Well, not at least to ones like you."

There's no reason to get all defensive really, but McCoy couldn't help himself. Being around Spock had that effect on him.

"Are you referring my heritage again?"

If you listen really closely, you could hear slight offence in Spock's voice. But you'd have to listen _very_ closely.

"Should I not? It's not like you could be hurt or anything. And if I'm been rude in an intellectual manner, I sincerely apologize and leave. Goodbye Spock, see you later."

McCoy though about standing up, but then again, leaving would have proofed Spock's observation right, that he was depressed or feeling down or whatever, and he didn't want that pain in the ass to get the satisfaction of getting under his skin again. Though Spock irritated him on a regular basis anyhow.

"Doctor, hiding your emotions is highly illogical. Even by your own standards."

"You know, you're really rubbing blood out of your nose, aren't you?"

"Simply stating a fact, doctor."

Sometimes you could swear Spock was being an ass on purpose. McCoy counted to ten and tried his best to stay civil and calm. Better explain things in a simplistic way or something, and not just storms off like an unstable Human he obviously was.

"OK. Maybe there's a thing or two to make me feel uncomfortable", McCoy said very tentatively. "This place for example. These memories. Ship, crew, Jim, _you,_ everything. I'm on a leave, can I pity myself and everything for little while?"

Oh, no, he was _not_ going to open up now! So what if he was feeling bad, it'll pass on like always. With a help of brandy perhaps, but it _will_ pass, you can count on that.

"Will it end there?"

Spock is really a menace. Of course it will! For a while. Somehow McCoy thought he shouldn't say anything at all.

"You're just being annoying", he huffed anyhow.

"Would you share the reason why everything is bothering you?"

He's so persistent. Well, he's a Vulcan. And when Vulcan makes his mind, it can'tbe changed easily. It's because of all those very logical comebacks they manage to pull when ever you try to evade a straight question. Wonder if Jim has forced Spock to talk him, since McCoy snapped him quite ruthless a day before. Jim Kirk is that kind of a pompous Starfleet ass sometimes, that he rather solves problems by sending someone do it for him. Especially when it involved talking to McCoy, because boy did he know Bones to be hardheaded and vicious if irritated. Better to put Spock against him, because Spock wouldn't feel any of his stings, damn it.

"Sigh… I met my wife there, if you must know", McCoy said after a very uncomfortable pause. Jeez.

It's not much of a coincident, since McCoy had loved this place even as a Starfleet Medical student. Studet dorms were down the valley, so meeting people here was only natural. "Near lake. You can see the tree and the bushes over there. I asked her to marry me under those leaves."

This is just absurd thing to share with _a Vulcan._

"That is what is bothering you?" Spock said while raising an eyebrow.

"No, that was a long time ago. I just... hrmh. Sure I loved that woman."

"If I'm correct, you have divorced your wife."

"That was a long time ago too."

"If you loved her, why did you left her?"

He cannot assume that McCoy was willing to talk about this. 

"I didn't. She did. I deserved it, alright. You know how life goes….Oh, wait a sec, you wouldn't possibly know about regret and guilt, you're _a Vulcan._ "

"As you've pointed out so many occasions. Try to explain."

Jim must have pursued Spock to ask these things. He _must've._

"Why would you care anyway? Vulcans don't respect emotions high."

"I consider you as my friend."

"And that's why you're doing this? Consulting me to get me  _feel_  better? Thanks, but no thanks."

"Bottled emotions will explode eventually"

"Is that your logic talking?"

" _Yes_."

It took quite a long time for McCoy to think up an anwer.

"It's really no use to argue with you."

"Still you do, doctor."

McCoy gave a real smile to his friend. Believe it or not, but it seems that Spock smiled a little too.

"Yeah. I'm a illogical being, am I not? Sometimes I just mess up all. I mean, I loved her  _so_. She loved me  _so_. It was a happiest day of my life when she told me she was pregnant y'know? But our relationship was on the wreck long before that. I didn't gave myself to her, I really didn't want to reveal all that was _there_. I was working so hard, becoming a better doctor. Forgot the needs of her. And here I stand: I'm one hell of a doctor alright, without my wife, and I was never given chance to be real father to Joanna. That's the one that bites me the most I guess. I should have given more love to her at least. Or. well, no, that's not it... I should have _showed_ my love for her."

"I see."

Kind of cold response. But what was him expecting?

"And that's all you're going to say? Would it kill you to say something _nicer?"_

That was only a tease. Teasing Spock was always great fun, even if i ended up anger and/or tears. It's just such a blast.

"I just hoped this sharing would make you feel "better" as it's put, doctor."

"Well it didn't. It's not sharing, if you do not feel the feeling with me. But nice try anyhow. Ten points for effort."

He's a Vulcan, Vulcan, Vulcan, Vulcan, for Christ sake, cursed McCoy to himself. Spock IS trying to be like friend you know, and all he's doing is pin-pointing how badly he does it. It must take a lot of concession to even pursue something as painfully Human as sharing a feeling. Even vaguely. If there's something that comes close to hate in Spocks vocabularly, it was probably sharing. He himself _never_ said anything more than was necessary, and Vulcan or not, that can't be healthy in a long term.

"Vulcans suppress their emotions. We rule them. It's not same as feeling nothing."

There that was again: minimal offence taken. Point for McCoy?

"I know it. But you wouldn't admit that in front of true Humans, now would you?"

"Are you not a true Human?"

"I'm just Leonard McCoy, quite faulty little being, without much sence of high-minds and big ideas."

If Spock is a minor ass sometimes, McCoy knows he is a _major_ one. That was meant to mean: _I'm a little sorry._

"And being noble is your definition of being Human?"

Really, really funny. He didn't say anything about being _noble._

"According even to my own standard, as you pointed out, I'm talking nonsense."

Absolute nonsense.

"Yes."

Then Spock did something surprising: he lifted his greenish hand and placed it at first McCoys left shoulder. Then he moved it downwards, to touch his elbow, then his fingers and so on.

"I should tell you, Spock, that putting a hand on to another man thigh is considered quite a daring act."

Now, this is getting more and more absurd by the minute.

"It's supposed to be a gesture of support."

No way in hell it is. And he _knows_ it. Spock might be cold and insensitive about thinks, but he sure isn't _dense_. Even he knows what rubbing one's thigh mean, and it should be even more obvious come to think of it that Vulcans are touch telepahts and all. 

"How would you react if I touched your ear right now?" McCoy quirked a bit just _because._ He wasn't really going to do that, it would be such a weird-ass mistake. Might even end their relationship come to think of it, if Spock really was  _just_ being supportive in his bizarre and slightly homoerotic way. And this is NOT funny.

"You are already touching my ear, so the question is irrelevant."

 _Oh._ He _was_ acually. Damn it. Damn it to hell, all of it. Damn hands that do stuff when brains decide otherwise. Well. Never mind. Damage has been done. Vulcan ears are pretty hot compared to human ones... and much more firmer.

"Pointy eared friend of mine you are…"

Somehow the dark clouds passed McCoy while he was touching those pointy thingies and he got a real nasty idea. But he wouldn't even propose it. No he wouldn't. Would he?

"Could you turn your face toward me?" he propted and Spock just looked at him. Really looked. 

"There is nothing wrong with my neck muscles", Spock said calm. Calculated.

"Now, move your hands around my waist", McCoy added and Spock really did.

Would they _actually_  go forward with this, what ever it was? He's one who started anyway, though McCoy was relatively sure that hand placing thign was _not_  a simple friend-to-another-friend gesture. Or maybe it was, but Spock never was a touchy-touchy person, so it didn't make sense him to touch without real reason.

"Are you sure you are not acting under sudden rush of uncontrolled emotion?"

"Are you saying my judgment is limited? Well, my dear Vulcan son of a bitch, this is what you get for being all handsy with me. Now… open up your pretty mouth just a little bit. Yes, just like that."

There's no better way to shut him up, now is there? And yeah, maybe this was way crazier than McCoy could have guessed in the morning. He knew this day was going to be odd, but this odd? Pressing lips against his superior officer? Particularly against _this_ officer and his copper tasted lips? Judgment must have been thrown away just minutes ago.

Then there was lips againt his and the kiss was longer than McCoy had ever felt before, tingling all the way his mouth, making hims a little dizzy in the end. Even Spock looked like rather shaken as a result.

"That was a powerful kiss, doctor."

Vulcan lips are also hotter that human ones. Interesting note, yet should be an obvious one. 

"Yeah. Who would have guessed I can kiss? People seem to think I'm too old to be virile."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Very much so."

At the same time McCoy was thinking he'd need a fuck right about now. "But I must admit you really did make me feel better."

 _And make me always feel even better_ , he added in his mind.

"As I thought so."

Spock raised up and started to walk away. McCoy took his wrist at sudden panic an pulled it hard.

"No, no, no, no!, You can't leave now!"

"I promised to meet our captain at the coffee shop 1300 hours."

"Who cares? I wanna kiss you breathless right thre freaking now!"

Oh God, he wasn't really begging him to stay? He must be REALLY depressed. And in desperate need. And all this happened in a matter of few moments while sitting on this bench near these stupid nostagic trees he rather wanted to just forget. Forget them with Spock, he just realized.

"But doctor…"

"Oh, dammit. Just go and leave me here."

All of a sudden McCoy sunk much lower than before, to the rock bottom.

"You can join us, if you like."

A lame attempt to be unvulcanish. Laughable.

"No, no, I just sulk here."

Was it just in McCoy's head, or is Spock being illogical this time? He should be leaving if he had an appointment. Spock should sift his weight and look awkward and uncomfortable, Spock never looked anything but well collected. 

"I think that captain has found other company already, so he wouldn't miss me if I stay."

Bet he has, there's no need for captain James T. Kirk to find attractive company: women will find _him._

"Oh no Spock, don't bore yourself being here with me", McCoy grumped but being genuinly touched.

"I have insulted you somehow. I want to apologize."

"No, you have _not_."

Somehow McCoy felt he's been seduced when he least expected it, and left all alone afterwords.  _You're being lovesick old man_ , McCoy said to himself. Is he really going to be  _this_  silly?

"I nearly wanted to protect you. Under an emotional stress one can end up doing something regretful, and I did push you while being visibly distressed", explained Spock in his analytical way as always, but fell down flat.

"We _kissed_ already!" McCoy argued and definitely felt like he was on the right with this one.

"How I got the impression you wanted something more that kiss me 'breathless'?"

Well, it wasn't a secret, hunger must have been seen through his blue eyes. The only bad thing for having blue eyes is that you cannot really hide anything behind them. 

"I guess so. Under these threes maybe."

McCoy pointed the beatiful day around them, summery feel with a hit of autumn in it. It would be wonderful to kiss someone else under all these shivering leaves. Only to get his mind elsewhere.Away from bitter nostalgia and wrecked memories.

"Here where you proposed your ex-wife", said Spock apparently thinking it's necessaracy to underline obvious.

"Tell me, should I not want to have sex with you, now that we have started fooling around like this? And would you please remind me how this got started in the first place?"

Honestly, both of them were just as clueless.

"You should think about it trough doctor", Spock said stressing it strongly, giving all decision responsibility McCoy. Which felt rather nice, he hadn't been in control of his relationships in years. It was weird that Spock _can_ be so considerate, especially when McCoy hasn't ever been that nice to him ever... though, what was itsaid about pulling pigtails, because that was basically what McCoy had been done since day one. There had been some vague admiraton around, and he had probably fancied Vulcan Ccience Officer a little inside his mind, and since McCoy sucked at relationships he showed it poorly.

But apparently Spock had catched a drift anyway.

"I have", McCoy nodded and Spock just added:

"Good", and kissed him again.

 

**FIN**


End file.
